US Patent and Trademark Office is one of the greatest repositories of practical knowledge in history. But along with a great deal of very serious and edifying material, much legally advised and/or required verbiage, and inventor-inspired general-purpose pleonasms, there are some items in their records that are highly amusing. In this series, occasional examples of such patents and patent applications are going to be extracted and put up for their amusement value.
Giving birth to a child (or multiple children) is a medically complicated event, never mind the profound human importance. There are going to be a lot of people running around during the event. But usually, the mother (and child) are not going anywhere, both being rather busy. However, someone thinks that the mother and baby both need to be given the runaround, in a literal sense. The baby is supposed to spin right out, at what appears to be up to 7 G's. Some mothers do want their kids to become astronauts and/or pilots, but isn't this a bit early to start? Also, some mothers do think child-related activities make their heads spin, and this device will definitely accomplish such a task, spinning not just the head figuratively, but the entirety of mother, literally.
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